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10 Signs You’re on Somebody’s Bench


Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, you’ve definitely had someone on the bench before. And by “on the bench,” I mean you’ve got someone waiting in the wings, who you like just fine, but probably don’t like as much as this other person you know. You’ve also probably been on somebody else’s bench, in which case you know how much it sucks to be stuck waiting around for someone to call you in to play. It’s the worst. Don’t let yourself be benched for too long.

1. They usually only ever invite you out at the last minute. And it’s usually when they’re already out with friends. They’re just not making time to hang out with you specifically.

2. Everything feels great when you’re together, but they’re hard to communicate with otherwise. Sure, it feels like they’re committed when you’re actually together IRL, but when someone actually likes you, they usually try to make some sort of effort to communicate.

3. They don’t fully commit when you invite them to things. They’ll say things like, “Possibly!” or, “I’ll see if I’m busy but sounds fun!” when you invite them out. What they’re probably doing is waiting for someone else (who’s not on their bench) to come through.

4. Their enthusiasm about hanging out with you is constantly fluctuating. What’s likely happening is that they only turn to you when someone they like better is being a flake (Maybe they’re on someone else’s bench?), because the last thing they want is to be alone.

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